i'm scared.

Russian Club hosted this Russian Disco thing tonight at a bar downtown... well he used to always tell me he's not into the whole club scene and everything, so I thought I'd be safe.. I wasn't. he was there. I got scared right as I saw him. My friends were trying to comfort me. My one guy friend said "hey as long as I'm here, he's not touching you. I'll let you know if he comes around". but next thing I know, I hear him say my name behind me. And I run out for a cigarette. And he tries to follow me. And then he tries to talk to me out there while I'm smoking. Well, according to him, he doesn't smoke....... I succeeded at avoiding him, though I couldn't calm down until I was sure he was gone.

Come home, chilling with that guy friend..............
we're listening to music. he knows everything. but he's stroking my leg. he's stroking my side.

he left.

but i'm still shaking. I'm still crying. I'm still very uncomfortable.
why does everyone try to touch me?
why does no one respect me?
i'm not a toy.

or maybe he's trying to use my weakness to his own benefit.